Anthony Abbott

Summary

David Oliver provides an excellent introduction to the art of negotiation for the layperson. Negotiation is a skill that can—and arguably should—be mastered by everyone, not just in business, but in personal life too. This book is especially valuable for anyone who, like the writer, has ever agreed to something and later wondered how they ended up saying yes.

Oliver doesn’t offer anything radical or esoteric. His advice is grounded in common sense—so much so that, once read, it seems almost embarrassingly obvious. The real value lies in seeing those principles clearly laid out, named, and structured, turning vague instincts into actionable tools.

This is not a book to read once and set aside. It deserves careful reading and regular revision.

Insights

Oliver begins with a clear definition: negotiation is a voluntary discussion to reach an agreement. The key word here is voluntary. Never forget your veto—you can always walk away. But if you don’t negotiate, you may already be losing money by default.

Know thyself. In any negotiation, clarity about your own position is paramount. What do you want to achieve? What is your ideal outcome? What concessions are you prepared to make, and at what point will you walk away? You must know these things before the negotiation begins.

When preparing—both for understanding your own position and anticipating the other party’s—think in writing. Don’t rely on holding vague ideas in your head. Write down your goals, and write down your best assessment of theirs. Do this well in advance. It sharpens your thinking and gives you a structure to return to if the negotiation becomes stressful or complex.

Next—prepare. Preparation is everything. It’s the difference between success and the slaughtered lamb. This includes rehearsal. Oliver’s point is simple and sound: authority comes from confidence, and confidence comes from preparation.

Once you’re clear about your goals and have considered the other party’s likely position, it’s time to think about tactics. A few golden rules:
– Never say yes the first time.
– Never accept a proposal without making a counter-proposal. For example:
“If I agree to this price, will you sign today?” 
“I’ll do that if you include this extra feature.”

Ask questions to uncover the other party’s position: What will they pay? When? How? Don’t be afraid of silence—silence keeps you in control. Listen carefully. If the other party contradicts something said earlier, don’t be shy about pointing it out. Nobody likes to appear inconsistent.

Always trade—never give.
– Ask for a discount.
– If someone asks you for a discount, ask why they think they should have one.
– Don’t offer discounts; offer a change in terms:
“I can reduce the unit price if you increase the order size,” or,
“We can do that if you pay today in cash.”

Finally, be sure to maximise the perceived value of what you’re offering, while minimising the significance of what the other side offers. For instance, if they offer delivery within a week, you might say: “Actually, we won’t be ready for it for a month.” The offer sounds generous, but in practice it’s of little value.

The Ten Commandments

• Always ask for more
• Never say yes to the first offer
• Don’t allow price rot
• Don’t say price is negotiable
• Trade concessions reluctantly and slowly
• Don’t change price without changing terms
• Don’t bargain to my deadlines – find his deadlines
• Avoid sounding tough for the sake of it
• Price is not the primary issue
• Keep a sense of humour

Strengths

This is a clear and easy-to-digest book. It isn’t weighed down with statistics or academic jargon—though it draws on credible references where appropriate. Oliver never forgets that his audience are lay readers, and he presents his advice in a structured, coherent, and highly accessible way.

His recommendations are practical and easy to apply. Most importantly, even if you don’t plan to become a skilled negotiator yourself, it’s essential to be aware of the techniques Oliver describes—if only to protect yourself from professionals who might exploit your inexperience.

It’s also evident that this is written by someone with real-world experience—firsthand knowledge hard-won in practice, not merely theorised in a seminar room.

Weaknesses

Oliver doesn’t break new ground—but to his credit, he doesn’t claim to. His aim is modest and practical: to teach lay readers the basics of negotiation. On those terms, he succeeds.

Reflections

Although I recognise Oliver’s accomplishment in clearly setting out how to become a successful negotiator, there remains something distasteful in the approach he recommends. For example, he advises trivialising the other party’s offer and making them feel uncomfortable. These may be effective techniques—perhaps enough to shave 10% off the price—but they leave a bad taste in the mouth.

The underlying philosophy of the book doesn’t concern itself with fairness or justice. Oliver’s view is unapologetic: your job is to get the best deal you can—and if the other party ends up disadvantaged, that’s their problem. If they haven’t mastered negotiation, that’s on them.

But this kind of approach can come back to bite you. You may drive a hard bargain and get what you want, but over time the other party may realise they’ve been taken advantage of—and look for a way to even the score.

Worse still, if you squeeze the margins too hard, you may leave the other person with no profit at all. As the old wisdom has it: don’t eat the other guy’s seeds for next year. Let him make a fair profit—because if he goes out of business, you’ll have no one left to trade with. A negotiation isn’t a battle to be won at all costs; it’s a relationship to be sustained.

Conclusion

How to Negotiate Effectively is an excellent introduction to negotiation skills for the lay reader. Its central message is clear: prepare well. Know what you want to achieve, the price you’re willing to pay, and the concessions you’re prepared to make—before you enter the room.

But this is not a book about fairness. Justice plays little role in Oliver’s approach, and without fairness, no deal will flourish in the long run. That said, this book is still worth reading—if only to protect yourself from the hard-nosed salesmen who already know every tactic in it, and won’t hesitate to use them against you.

Book Details

Title: How to Negotiate Effectively
Author: David Oliver
Publication Year: 2003
Genre: Management Skills, Leadership
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